Festival 01
27 Oct 2015
We’ve all been there. There’s that one person who captured our heart, but treated us as a friend and nothing else. We hung on, convincing ourselves that one day we would both realize that we were meant to be. Months and years go by, but nothing. It’s heartbreaking and it can prevent you from seeing other potential partners.

Here are some things you can do to avoid being in the friend zone:

Don’t give relationship advice: If that special someone is constantly discussing dating and asking for your help, that’s a sign your “friend” is not into you. Your friend is not testing you; instead, he/she is looking for your guidance and advice as a friend and nothing else. Avoid giving your friend dating advice. Why get tangled up in someone else’s drama?

Don’t always be Plan B: You drop everything to see this person. You like this person and when he/she reaches out last minute that’s okay, right? It’s okay to be spontaneous, but when it’s done regularly, your friend is not appreciating your time. Set some boundaries and know your self-worth. You deserve to be someone’s Plan A.

Flirt: Glance that special person’s way every so often. Give him/her a gentle or playful nudge. Give lots of compliment. Tell suggestive jokes. Smile. These are all signs that someone is into you. When you do flirt, see if it’s reciprocated. If you get the cold shoulder, you’ve got your answer. Move on.

Don’t play games: Take this advice literally and figuratively. If your friend is playing hard to get or flirting with other people, walk away. You don’t have time to play games and you shouldn’t put up with this kind of behaviour. Your friend will get the hint.

Reveal your intentions: After you’ve flirted for some time, make a move. Don’t stall otherwise your friend will think that you’re just being playful. Be bold and finally ask your friend out. That’s the only sure-fire way of letting your friend know that you’re interested and also to find out if he/she is interested back.

Don’t wait: This is the hardest piece of advice, but to keep your sanity, sometimes you just have to cut your losses and walk away. If you still want to be his/her friend, ask yourself if you would be okay if you were introduced to his/her new partner. If the idea is too painful, it’s time to cut all ties.

My suggestions are not gameplays. They are simply measures you might want to take or should consider to help you get what you want. You deserve to be with someone who appreciates and loves you. Don’t spend your time chasing something who doesn’t want to be chased.

Mishka Alarcon

Mishka Alarcon

Mishka is a B2B marketer and social media strategist. She also enjoys blogging for her website MishkaAlarcon.com and for other organizations including: American Marketing Association (AMA) Toronto Chapter, Lean In Canada and most recently VIV Love Life. In addition to writing she loves taking pictures of architecture and competing in CrossFit.