Ok boys listen up. The number of stories we’ve been hearing from women in regards to how terrible they have been treated by men is startling. There are some basic codes of conduct that should be given which apparently need to be reiterated and explained. Take notes (or at least copy/paste).
- Clean yourself up for Pete’s sake There is nothing more disgusting or insulting than a man that doesn’t clean up and groom himself properly. You can have a scruffy look but it has to be controlled. Planned without being contrived. Just maybe run a comb through your hair and get the food out of your beard for starters. Show some respect by putting some effort into your appearance.
- Define your own style and look the part This doesn’t mean that you need to put on a three piece suit. It’s totally fine to have casual personal style but define it for yourself. Don’t buy clothes because you think you should. Copying others with no purpose screams “I have no confidence in who I am!”.
- Be courteous and polite Stop scratching yourself at the dinner table. Seriously. Hold the door open for her. Pull out her chair. Don’t interrupt her when she is speaking. Buy her some flowers. Being courteous is not about letting someone walk all over you. It is about having the confidence and strength in yourself to behave with dignity, show restraint and think of others first.
- Act like a grown up online If you have shirtless selfies of you and your best buds doing beer funnels and shots at a frat party, just take them down. If that truly reflects who you are I wish you the best of luck. In case you haven’t noticed EVERYONE checks you out online not just employers. Be aware and don’t come off like a child. Sheesh.
- Watch your language I, like many people grew up in an environment where our dads could put together a string of expletives that sounded like poetry. Its not poetry. Stop it. Learn to express yourself without these nasty verbal crutches. It speaks to your own self confidence and shows your respect for yourself and others. Regardless of how well a date is going and how comfortable you feel don’t ruin things by using bad language.
- Be confident and clear in what you want Not being able to make a decision and take charge is woefully unattractive. A man isn’t wishy washy. If you want the respect of others, know what you want and what you don’t, and be clear about it. That said there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Don’t cross it.
- Keep your promises and stay true to your word If you say you will be somewhere at a certain time, be there. If you promise to do something for someone, do it. Staying true to your word not only builds trust in those you want to impress but it builds trust in yourself. If you know that you are a person that will come through in what they have promised It dramatically increases your self confidence and self worth. And that shines through like a beacon.
- Lastly, be yourself When all is said and done you have to be genuine. Don’t try to fake it. Don’t put on airs to impress and don’t wear a tie or a plaid shirt if it is not your thing. A big part of being a gentleman is having integrity and being a real person. Now, if part of being yourself is being a slob with a sailor’s vocabulary then maybe you have some self reflection to do but in general don’t try to be something your are not. It will show pretty quickly either way.